I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you win again, gameday.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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