That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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