You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
