The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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