How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
