my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
