There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
