he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
