There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
