i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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