Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
