I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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