I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
