ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
