So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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