it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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