we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
