There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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