i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
