she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
