the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
