what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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