Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
