Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
