U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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