chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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