I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
