she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize