You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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