After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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