only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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