Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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