I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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