im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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