Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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