Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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