i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
