Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The cops high fived after they tackled you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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