Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
