Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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