Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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