How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
