thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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