just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
