I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
