I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
did i just pee glitter
I'm bleeding and have questions
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
