I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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