okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
