if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
