Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
