We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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