I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
