I didn't shave. On purpose
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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