If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
