There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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