I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
