The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
