she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize