he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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