i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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