I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My cat gives me a boner
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
