You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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