Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize