Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
