U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
