How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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