Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
