I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
