are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
